Feeling lost in Wonderland

I’ve been wandering around the last week or so feeling extremely lost. Perhaps it was because I discovered I had shin splints and am now forced to not do much vigorous exercising like I was. Maybe I’m getting this crazy flu everyone and their mother seems to be contracting. Maybe I’m being impatient for the things to come in the next few months.

Can someone cue the Cheshire Cat to tell me where to go now?


It’s likely a combination of all those things. Mostly my impatience. Waiting for it to warm up so I can lay by the pool, go to the beach, enjoy the sunshine. Waiting for the word on deployment; Blehh! For multiple reasons though, not just the obvious. Waiting (more so dreading) for the day I get my wisdom teeth pulled. Waiting for finances to finally be in the green!

There’s a lot that I’m looking forward to these next few months. And my excitement can hardly be contained for a few of them! But waiting is such nonsense! I feel so anxious all the time. Like I need to be doing something to get time to go by quicker or to start getting things ready for whatever may be occurring. But all those things are weeks to months away. And now that I can’t do the one thing that kept me both physically and mentally busy due to an injury, I’m going bonkers!

I am continually reminded of my absolute favorite movie Alice in Wonderland (yes, I love BOTH versions, but I will focus on the cartoon here.)

If I had a world of my own everything would be nonsense.

I don’t think of my world in a nonsense way like Alice’s. Although, Cheshire Cats, Mad Hatters, and white rabbits are rather exciting.


I think of it more as nonsense in regards to time. I would be able to fast forward to these things to either get them over with (*cough cough* wisdom teeth) or finally get to them (warm weather and financial freedom). I would incorporate some more interesting aspects of course. Hookah smoking caterpillars, a mad tea party….


I know that the buildup to something makes the end result even more exciting and great. And that I do need to be patient. There’s only so much a girl can do being stuck in an apartment though! Especially when you live in a state that’s too cold and wet to go out into. And when you’re trying to save money.

I have been able to brush off some of this impatience induced anxiety by packing up to move apartments this weekend. But that’s just making me more and more homesick. I know that the next time we pack up after this, it will be to come home, so you see my frustration.

It’s been a long, frustrating, mentally exhausting week. And I honestly can’t wait for these new things to come. I just have to learn to be patient with time. Because as we found out tonight, when rushing and impatient with a mind preoccupied, you end up ruining carpets. Oops.



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