Today it was brought to my attention that I have come incredibly far with my insecurities. I received a message from a friend regarding being “friends” with an ex boyfriend on social media. I was told it was weird. I don’t blame that person for saying it, because in most situations it is weird! But the part of the conversation that really got to me, was when I justified that “friendship.”
I told my friend how it is not really that weird to me. I had talked to this person because of some legal issues, and things were cool. I was then asked how I would feel if my husband was friends with his ex’s on social media? Well, he is. And I really don’t care. (which is HUGE for me).
I had a ton of insecurity issues stemming from some stupid girls in my husband and my past (read about it here). For the longest time, I didn’t trust my husband. Which is funny, because he flew me up here multiple times, paid for a lot of things while I got my job established, was more than supportive through so many aspects, and never gave me legitimate reason not to. And let’s not forget….he’s my freaking husband! As in, married! But there were so many nights spent crying, texts being sent back and forth, and a lot of me basically being ridiculous and worrying about something nonexistent.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve realized how much I do, in fact, trust this man. Mostly through how we communicate. Our relationship is completely open, and we’ve learned how to read each other, always knowing when something’s wrong or off. He knows the password on my phone (which I mainly keep just to feel cool and have one lol) I know most of his email passwords. If we ever felt it necessary to go through each other’s stuff, it would be beyond easy. We wouldn’t have that openness though, if we didn’t talk. We discuss practically everything. To include these insecurity issues and if either of us does something to make the other feel uncomfortable. And every single time, I’m reassured that this is the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.
And I trust him.
And that is a really important aspect of a relationship. And the quote in the picture above is beyond true, to which I’m sure many can relate. Trust is so important, and takes practically forever (or at least what seems like it). But it can be broken. And worse, influenced. Talking to my husband, and not listening to others, has proven to help me overcome the issues I have. And it’s something I think a lot of people forget, or when they see it in someone else’s relationship, it’s hard to believe.
Many bad decisions have ruined the way we trust one another. And the fact that we have these terrible ideas that people always cheat, or are liars, etc, proves we are not working, or even willing to work on this.
I refused to let two girls ruin my marriage. But I also refused to let myself ruin it by letting stupid things, people, and ideas get to me. I love and adore my husband. But I couldn’t do those things if I didn’t trust him.
Part of life is always learning and bettering yourself. This is just one step on my journey.