Life, Opinions, Personal, Relationships, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Why I Refuse To Have Children…

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….while my husband is still in the Army.

I want children. My baby fever has been through the roof lately. And a whole slew of people have been asking when we plan on having babies. Everytime, my answer is plain and simple: not yet.

Then follows the “why not?”

It would be incredibly smart to have a child while my husband is in the military. Practically everything is covered. Doing a Google search, I discovered that just for delivery, the average cost is $30,000+. Add that to the follow up appointments for both you and baby, as well as any cost for complications/illnesses, vaccinations, annual check ups, etc….cost gets up there.

So why would I (stupidly) not have kids yet?

Well to start, I want to be selfish. I don’t want to share my husband, I want to be able to go out and drink, basically be a 22 year old. I realize you can still do this with a child, but it’s a lot more restricted and less frequent. And I am not ready to give that up.

Secondly, my finances are not in a good place to introduce a baby in the mix. I am finally at a point where all my credit cards will be paid off, however I am still swimming in a car loan and MASSIVE student loans. I would ideally like to be operating positively before I have a baby.

Third, I’ve heard horror stories about having babies at military hospitals. Yes, you can go to outside hospitals, but for a price. But sticking to the assumption that we’d be taking advantage of all the “free” healthcare, let’s say we’d have it on base. From what I’ve read and heard, most births are scheduled C-sections, something I want only in an emergency situation. Also, the father is not allowed to spend the night at the hospital with you. What?! I haven’t experienced child birth, but I imagine that first night being rather emotional and in need of your spouse. Those two things alone are deal breakers for me.

Now for the main reason I refuse to have kids anytime soon…..

*drum roll please*

Because there is no family anywhere close to us. And I don’t mean for the purpose of taking advantage of free child care (:P).

I grew up with such an enormous amount of family around; aunts, uncles, grand parents, cousins…. And I have a tremendous amount of knowledge and different opinions and way of looking at things because of it. My parents taught me to stand and speak up for what I believe in. My aunts and uncles taught me that animals are a bigger aspect of our lives than we realize, and we can’t remain ignorant to how their treated. Also, piranhas can be dangerous, especially ones of plant origin. (:P) My grand parents taught me how to swim, read, about computers, etc. My childhood was a huge party full of laughs, tears, and a million great stories to sit around reminiscing about.

I want my children to grow up around our families. I want them to have a good bond with family members that many other families don’t take advantage of having around. Reality is, family is really the only people you can count on. They always have your back and are there to help you. They love you unconditionally. And they have such an impact on a child’s life in my opinion. I would rather pay the costs, than live over 1,000 miles away from my family with a baby. Because it deserves all of the amazing, unconditional love I got.

So agree or disagree. But until we are back in our home state, settled in a house of our own, with all of our family close by, there will be no babies coming from the Dicks. 🙂

Xoxo.

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5 thoughts on “Why I Refuse To Have Children…”

  1. As for having a baby at a post hospital (and we were at a big one Ft. Bragg), my experience was very unlike what you have heard. They were very resistant to scheduling a c-section. They staff, both doctors, physicians’ assistants and nurses were extremely helpful and supportive. My husband stayed with me the entire time I was in the hospital.
    I had heard those same rumors, but by and large, they were not true. (Not that I would try to change your mind about anything. I just want to give you a non horror story.)

    Like

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