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One Giant Step, A Million Nerves and Worries, and A Need For Time to Go Faster

For about a year or so, my husband has been thinking about starting his medical discharge from the army. It has been a long, stressful process as we tried to figure out the best decision for us. And now after endless discussions, the process for him to medically retire has begun.

It’s a long road ahead. Probably more stressful and full of “what-ifs” and “what will we do…” than the initial decision to start the process. But it means that we will be back in Arizona by next Christmas (hopefully sooner). The unfortunate part is that such amazing news comes with those not so wonderful questions.

“What are going to do about finances?”

“Where are we going to live? Apartment or house?”

“How do we buy a house when we live in another state?”

“Who will move our stuff?”

“What if the process is done before July, when I promised my job I’d stay till then?”

I can truthfully say that these questions plague my mind daily, as I’m sure they do my husbands. And after tossing the idea of going home around for so long, it’s hard to wrap my head around the idea that this is actually happening. We will, no doubt, be back home next year.

But even though my brain can’t quite figure things out, and we are both stressing more than we outwardly show, something amazing showed me not to be afraid.

Yesterday, we met our niece. She is almost 4 months old and the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. I am so happy that we got to meet her, and feel even luckier that I get to be a part of her life. We spent the day with her dads family. Wonderful people full of so much love. And when it came time to leave, I had this overwhelming sadness. And I realized that after not being with all of our family for so long, it made me sad to have to leave these people who welcomed us so quickly into theirs.

After that, I knew that no matter what questions we have, what struggles we will face, or whatever hoops we have to jump through, everything is going to be okay. Because none of those things matter when you are surrounded by family, and they will always be there to help you through in any ways they can.

The next few months are going to be long and stressful. And every day that goes by I am getting more and more anxious. I cannot wait to go back and be with my family, to get to know my husbands family more, and to start our own family. We might have bad days and good ones, but we will finally be where we belong. ❤️

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