We all know how the old sayings go. You know, the ones about how we should never change ourselves for a person; sacrifice who we are for someone else’s benefit. And a lot of people don’t ever change. They remain the same person as when they started. They might lose a job, maybe a partner or two. But they are never the problem. It’s always “they couldn’t give me what I wanted.” Or “he/she was too *insert negative descriptor here* (ex. Selfish, insecure, clingy, etc.)”
Want to know those peoples’ real problem? They didn’t change. They refused to change.
Many people in today’s society will very easily blame their partner for any turmoil happening in their relationship. Maybe he didn’t do the dishes when you asked (so he’s too lazy), or she freaked out when you decided to have guys night out last minute (so she’s too clingy). Ever stop to think that maybe THEY aren’t the problem?
Yes, I insinuated it. YOU are the problem. YOU are the one with the issues. YOU are the stubborn one who refuses to look inside and fix the issues that keep bringing you down. YOU are the one always looking for something to blame, because how could anyone not want to kiss the ground YOU walk on?
Now, let’s be real. I am not saying that anyone should completely change for someone. That’s not love. That’s control, which is scary. Don’t do that. I’m saying that you need to change some things in order to be happy and have a thriving relationship. It can’t be something that would make one sacrifice their being for another persons happiness. It’s your own internal conflicts and issues that need resolved. There are many people who struggle with insecurities, depression, selfishness, family issues and a plethora of other things. Those are the parts of a person that should change. Keyword: PARTS.
If a person remained the same from around 20 years old, how many failed relationships would there be in this world? How many people would never grown and learn and become better people?
And there, ladies and gentlemen, we have the answer to why you should change. It isn’t for someone else. It could potentially help a dying relationship, but that’s not the point. (Oh look, I contradicted myself. But wait, there’s more!)
Even though changing yourself benefits many things, it shouldn’t be for anyone else. Those things are just additional positive aspects. Extra perks, if you will. You should only change for YOU. To better YOU. To improve YOUR happiness in life.
I guess you could say there are alterior motives to changing yourself. Whether it be at a job, at school, or with a partner. You have to be willing to grow and change for the better, for yourself, to make your life better. So suck it up! And make the effort to not only be a better person, but have a better, happier life.